What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

Start Your Day with Positive Affirmations: Each morning, before you dive into your daily routine, take a moment to affirm your worth, capabilities, and goals. Say things like 'I am capable of achieving my goals,' or 'Today, I choose to focus on what I can control and let go of what I can't.'

Replace Negative Thoughts as They Arise: Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, pause and consciously replace the thought with a positive one. For example, if you think 'I can't do this,' immediately counter it with 'I can do this, I just need to approach it differently.'

Create a Positivity Journal: Every evening, write down three positive things about your day or about yourself. This could be achievements, compliments you received, or simply something you're grateful for. Over time, this practice reinforces a positive mindset.

Use Positive Language in Conversations: When talking to others, focus on using positive language. This not only improves your own mindset but can also positively affect those around you. For instance, instead of saying 'This is impossible,' say 'Let's see how we can overcome this challenge.'

If you're preparing for a job interview and feel anxious, instead of dwelling on the fear of failure, affirm to yourself: 'I have prepared well for this interview. I am qualified and will present myself confidently.'

When faced with a difficult task at work, rather than thinking 'I've never done this before, so I'll probably mess it up,' tell yourself: 'This is a great opportunity to learn something new. I'll tackle it step by step and ask for help if I need it.'

Keep a Thought Journal: Every day, jot down any negative thoughts that cross your mind. This will help you become more aware of the frequency and nature of your negative beliefs.

Question the Belief: For each negative thought, ask yourself, 'What evidence do I have that this thought is true? Is there evidence that contradicts this belief?' This helps in assessing the validity of your negative thoughts.

Reframe Your Thoughts: Once you've identified a negative belief and challenged its validity, try to reframe it in a positive or neutral way. For example, change 'I'll never be good at this' to 'I'm improving every day with practice.'

Seek Alternative Perspectives: Discuss your negative beliefs with trusted friends or family members. They can offer different viewpoints that might challenge your negative beliefs and support you in seeing things differently.

Test Your Beliefs: Set small, manageable goals that challenge your negative beliefs. For instance, if you believe you're not good at public speaking, try speaking in front of a small, supportive group and gradually increase the audience size as you become more comfortable.

If you frequently think 'I'm not smart enough to succeed in my career,' start by writing this thought in your journal. Then, list all the instances where you've succeeded or received praise at work as evidence against this belief. Reframe the thought to 'I have the skills and intelligence to succeed in my career, and I'm always learning more.'

Imagine you often think 'I'm too awkward in social situations.' Challenge this by recalling times when you had enjoyable interactions or received positive feedback in social settings. Reframe it to 'I can be sociable and connect well with others when I'm genuinely myself.' Then, make a point to initiate conversations in social settings, starting with familiar faces and gradually expanding your comfort zone.

Identify Your Goals: Start by taking some time to reflect on what you really want to achieve. This could be anything from becoming more assertive at work, to running a marathon. Write these goals down in clear, specific terms.

Craft Your Self-Talk Statements: For each goal, create positive self-talk statements that reinforce your ability to achieve it. For example, if your goal is to improve public speaking, your self-talk might be 'I am confident and articulate when speaking in front of others.'

Schedule Regular Self-Talk Sessions: Set aside a few minutes each day to practice your self-talk. This could be in the morning as you get ready for the day, or during a break when you need a boost.

Track Your Progress: Keep a journal of your self-talk practice and any progress you notice towards your goals. Celebrate small victories to motivate yourself to keep going.

Adjust as Needed: If you find certain self-talk statements aren't helping, or your goals change, adjust your approach. The key is to make your self-talk work for you and your unique objectives.

If your goal is to increase your fitness level, your specific self-talk might be 'I am strong, energetic, and enjoy exercising daily to improve my health.' You could repeat this statement during your morning routine to start your day with a positive mindset towards physical activity.

For someone aiming to improve their financial management, a self-talk statement could be 'I am capable of managing my finances wisely and making smart spending decisions.' This could be reinforced by repeating the statement each time you review your budget or make financial decisions.

Start Small: Begin by visualizing small, easily achievable goals. This could be as simple as seeing yourself completing a daily task with ease or having a positive interaction with a colleague. The key is to make it vivid and detailed in your mind.

Incorporate Daily: Set aside a few minutes each day for visualization. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and vividly imagine yourself achieving a specific goal. Focus on the feelings of success, the sounds around you, and the visual details of the achievement.

Pair with Positive Self-Talk: While visualizing, consciously engage in positive self-talk. Tell yourself that you are capable, prepared, and successful. This combination reinforces your belief in your ability to achieve your goals.

Use a Vision Board: Create a vision board with images and words that represent your goals. Place it somewhere you will see it daily. This serves as a constant visual reminder of what you're working towards and can enhance your visualization practice.

Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your visualization experiences. Consider what's working and what isn't. Adjust your approach as needed, perhaps by choosing different times of day, altering your goals, or changing your self-talk scripts.

Imagine you're preparing for a job interview. Spend time visualizing yourself walking into the interview room, confidently greeting the interviewers, and answering questions with ease. Pair this with positive self-talk, reminding yourself of your qualifications and past successes.

Visualize completing a challenging workout. See yourself pushing through the tough moments, feeling strong and capable. Use positive self-talk to remind yourself of your fitness goals and your ability to achieve them.

Identify Your Goals and Desires: Start by clearly defining what you want to achieve or change in your life. This could be anything from improving self-confidence, achieving a career milestone, or fostering better relationships.

Craft Your Affirmations: Based on your goals, create affirmations that are specific to your needs. Remember to keep them positive, in the present tense, and precise. For example, instead of saying 'I will be confident,' say 'I am confident in my abilities.'

Incorporate Affirmations into Your Daily Routine: Set aside time each day to repeat your affirmations. This could be in the morning when you wake up, during your commute, or before you go to bed. Consistency is key.

Reflect and Adjust: Over time, reflect on the impact of your affirmations. If you find certain affirmations aren't resonating as you'd hoped, don't hesitate to adjust them. The goal is to find phrases that truly motivate and inspire you.

If your goal is to improve self-esteem, an affirmation might be: 'I am worthy of love and respect from myself and others.' Repeat this affirmation daily while looking in the mirror.

For career advancement, an affirmation could be: 'I possess the skills and knowledge required for success in my career.' Visualize yourself achieving your career goals as you affirm this statement.