Give and Take

Identify the Takers: Pay attention to how people react when you offer help. Takers often accept help without showing gratitude or reciprocating. Make a mental note of these individuals and prioritize your giving elsewhere.

Seek Out Appreciators: Look for individuals who express gratitude and are likely to pay it forward. These are the people who value your help and are more likely to create a positive ripple effect with your generosity.

Set Boundaries: It's important to know your limits. Offer help when you can, but don't be afraid to say no if you're overextended. Setting boundaries ensures you can continue to give without facing burnout.

Offer Help Strategically: Think about the impact of your help. Sometimes, offering advice or mentorship can be more valuable than financial assistance. Tailor your help to what the person truly needs and what you're best equipped to give.

Reflect on Your Giving: Regularly take time to reflect on your giving experiences. Consider what went well and what could be improved. This reflection will help you become a more effective and discriminating giver over time.

If you notice a coworker consistently takes credit for collaborative work without acknowledging others' contributions, they might be a taker. In future projects, you might choose to invest your time and resources in team members who value and recognize collective efforts.

Imagine you volunteer at a local non-profit and see direct results from your efforts, such as increased community engagement or successful fundraising events. This positive feedback loop is a sign that your contributions are valued and making a difference, encouraging you to continue supporting this cause.

Identify Givers in Your Network: Start by analyzing your current network. Think about the people who have offered you help without expecting anything in return. These are your givers. Make an effort to strengthen these relationships.

Be a Giver Yourself: To attract more givers into your life, practice generosity. Offer your help to colleagues and friends without keeping score. This could be as simple as sharing knowledge, providing support on a project, or making an introduction.

Create or Join Communities of Givers: Look for or establish groups, both online and offline, that are centered around mutual aid and support. This could be professional networks, interest-based clubs, or volunteer organizations.

Share Success Stories of Giving: When you or someone else benefits from a giving act, share the story. This not only recognizes the giver but also promotes a culture of generosity within your network.

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Generosity: While being a giver is beneficial, it's also important to set boundaries to avoid burnout. Learn to say no when necessary, and prioritize where your help will have the most impact.

Imagine you're part of a local business networking group. You notice a new member struggling to make connections. Without being asked, you introduce them to several key contacts that could benefit their business. This act of generosity can help establish a relationship with a fellow giver.

You're working on a project at work and realize a colleague has unique expertise that could significantly contribute. Even though they're not part of your team, you offer to help them with one of their own projects in exchange for their insight. This fosters a collaborative environment and strengthens your network of givers.

Identify the Right Moment: Choose a moment when the person you're asking for help is not overwhelmed or in a rush. This increases the likelihood of a positive response.

Be Specific in Your Request: Clearly articulate what you need help with. Vague requests can be confusing and harder to fulfill. Specify what you're asking for, why it's important, and how they can assist.

Express Appreciation and Reciprocity: Let the person know you value their help and are willing to reciprocate in the future. This fosters a mutual support system.

Follow Up with Gratitude: After receiving help, follow up with a thank you message or gesture. This reinforces a positive relationship and encourages future exchanges of assistance.

Imagine you're working on a project at work and you've hit a roadblock with a specific technical skill that a colleague excels in. You could approach them and say, 'I've been struggling with X and I know you're really good at it. Could you spare a few minutes to show me how you tackle it? I'd really appreciate it and am happy to help you out whenever you need it too.'

Suppose you're organizing a community event and need more hands on deck. You could reach out to friends or community members with a message like, 'Hey! I'm organizing an event for [cause] and could really use some help with [specific task]. I remember you have a knack for this. Would you be willing to lend a hand? I’d be so grateful and of course, I’m here to support you in your endeavors as well.'

Start Meetings with Acknowledgments: At the beginning of team meetings, take a moment to acknowledge individual or group achievements. This sets a positive tone and encourages a culture of recognition.

Use Public Platforms for Praise: Utilize company newsletters, emails, or social media to publicly acknowledge and thank team members for their contributions. This not only boosts morale but also highlights the importance of giving credit.

Personal Thank You Notes: Make it a habit to send personal thank you notes or emails to colleagues who have helped you. A personalized message can go a long way in showing genuine appreciation.

Encourage Peer Recognition: Implement a peer recognition program where employees can nominate their colleagues for special acknowledgments. This fosters a supportive environment and encourages everyone to notice and appreciate each other's efforts.

Reflect on Contributions During Performance Reviews: Use performance review sessions not just to evaluate but also to highlight and thank employees for their specific contributions over the review period. This reinforces the value of their work and dedication.

During a project wrap-up meeting, a team leader starts by highlighting each team member's unique contribution to the project's success, mentioning specific tasks or challenges they handled exceptionally well.

A company implements a 'Kudos' section in their monthly newsletter, where employees who have gone above and beyond are featured. Colleagues are encouraged to submit nominations, detailing the contributions of their peers.

Identify Potential Mentees: Look for individuals within your network, workplace, or community who show potential and a desire to grow. This could be someone who has directly asked for guidance or someone you've observed displaying a keen interest in learning.

Schedule Regular Check-ins: Once you've established a mentor-mentee relationship, set up regular meetings or check-ins. This could be weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, depending on both of your schedules. Use this time to discuss progress, challenges, and next steps.

Offer Constructive Feedback: Provide feedback that is specific, actionable, and positive. Focus on what your mentee is doing well in addition to areas for improvement. This encourages growth while maintaining confidence.

Share Your Own Experiences: One of the most valuable resources you can offer as a mentor is your own experiences. Share stories of your successes and failures, what you learned from them, and how they shaped your career. This can provide invaluable insights and inspiration.

Encourage Networking: Introduce your mentee to other professionals in your field. Encouraging them to build their own network not only aids their professional development but also reinforces the value of paying it forward.

Example 1: If you're mentoring a young professional in your industry, you might schedule a monthly coffee meeting to discuss their current projects, any challenges they're facing, and strategies for overcoming those challenges. During these meetings, you could share relevant experiences from your own career to illustrate how you've navigated similar obstacles.

Example 2: For a mentee interested in developing a specific skill, such as public speaking, you could arrange for them to present at a team meeting or local meetup group. Afterward, provide constructive feedback on their performance, highlighting strengths and offering tips for improvement. You could also share your first public speaking experience and how you improved over time.