Coaching Habit

Ask open-ended questions in your daily interactions. Whether you're catching up with a friend, checking in with a family member, or discussing a project with a colleague, start the conversation with 'What’s on your mind?' This approach encourages them to share what they're truly thinking or feeling.

Listen actively to their response. After asking 'What’s on your mind?', give them your full attention. Nod, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting. This shows that you value what they have to say and are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.

Follow up with more open-ended questions based on their response. Use their initial answer as a springboard for deeper conversation. For example, if they mention feeling overwhelmed with work, you could ask, 'What aspect of your work is feeling most challenging right now?'

Imagine you're a manager and one of your team members seems quieter than usual in a meeting. After the meeting, you approach them and ask, 'What’s on your mind?' They share that they're feeling overwhelmed by their current project. You listen, then ask, 'What’s making it feel overwhelming?' This leads to a productive discussion about how you can support them.

You're catching up with a friend over coffee, and instead of the usual 'How are you?', you ask, 'What’s on your mind these days?' Your friend opens up about feeling uncertain about their career path. You listen attentively and follow up with, 'What about your career is making you feel uncertain?' This helps them articulate their thoughts and feelings more clearly.

Start Conversations with Open-Ended Questions: Begin your discussions, especially those aimed at problem-solving or brainstorming, with questions that cannot be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. This sets the stage for more in-depth exploration.

Incorporate the AWE Question Regularly: After the initial response to your question, follow up with 'And what else?' This encourages further thinking and often uncovers additional valuable insights or solutions that were not initially apparent.

Practice Active Listening: As you ask 'And what else?', listen attentively to the responses. This not only shows respect and value for the speaker's ideas but also helps you understand the depth of the issue or the idea being discussed.

Avoid Rushing to Solutions: Resist the urge to offer solutions after the first answer. By asking 'And what else?', you allow the conversation to unfold more naturally, leading to potentially better and more comprehensive solutions.

In a team meeting discussing strategies to improve customer satisfaction, after someone suggests an initial idea, you could say, 'That’s a great start. And what else can we do to enhance our customer satisfaction?' This might lead to a broader range of solutions.

During a one-on-one with a direct report who is facing challenges with their current project, after they've shared their initial thoughts on overcoming these challenges, ask, 'I see. And what else have you considered?' This could help them think beyond their current viewpoint and identify new strategies.

Reflect on the Real Challenge: Before diving into problem-solving mode, take a moment to reflect on the situation at hand. Ask yourself, 'What’s the real challenge here for me?' This self-questioning can help you identify the root cause of your issue, rather than just the symptoms.

Apply the Focus Question in Conversations: When a friend, family member, or colleague comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to offer immediate solutions. Instead, ask them, 'What’s the real challenge here for you?' This can help them clarify their thoughts and may lead to more effective problem-solving.

Journal About Challenges: Regularly write about challenges you're facing, applying the focus question to each. This practice can help you see patterns in what you perceive as the core issues and might guide you towards more strategic solutions.

Imagine you're leading a project at work that's hit a roadblock. Instead of focusing on the immediate obstacles, asking 'What’s the real challenge here for me?' might reveal that the real issue is a lack of clear communication between team members, not just the surface-level problems.

Consider a friend coming to you, overwhelmed by their busy schedule. By asking them 'What’s the real challenge here for you?' you might help them realize that their real struggle is not the number of tasks but their difficulty saying no to new commitments, leading to a more focused discussion on setting boundaries.

Identify Your Desires: Start by taking a moment each day to ask yourself, 'What do I really want?' This could be in relation to your career, personal life, or a specific situation. Write down your thoughts to make them more tangible.

Use the Question in Conversations: When discussing plans or projects with others, ask them, 'What do you want?' This encourages clarity and ensures that everyone's objectives are aligned, making it easier to work towards a common goal.

Reflect on Your Responses: Regularly review the answers you've given or received to the question 'What do you want?' This reflection can help you track progress towards your goals and adjust your approach if necessary.

Set Actionable Steps: Once you've identified what you or others want, break down the goal into smaller, actionable steps. This makes the journey towards achieving the goal seem more manageable and less daunting.

During a team meeting, a project manager notices the conversation drifting away from the main agenda. She asks the team, 'What do we want to achieve by the end of this meeting?' This refocuses the discussion and helps the team outline clear objectives for the meeting.

A friend is feeling overwhelmed with their current job situation but isn't sure what to do next. Over coffee, you ask them, 'What do you want from your career?' This question helps your friend articulate their desires for growth, work-life balance, or a new challenge, sparking ideas for their next steps.

Start conversations with open-ended questions. Instead of jumping in with advice or solutions, begin by asking 'How can I help?' This invites the other person to express what they truly need.

Practice active listening. After posing your question, listen intently to the response. This not only shows respect but also helps you understand the real issue at hand, enabling you to offer more targeted support.

Encourage self-reflection. Prompt the other person to think about possible solutions themselves by asking, 'What do you think are your options?' This fosters independence and confidence in their problem-solving abilities.

Clarify your role. Once they've shared their thoughts, ask, 'How can I support you in this?' This ensures that your assistance is both wanted and precisely directed towards what they actually need.

Imagine a colleague comes to you, overwhelmed by their workload. Instead of immediately offering to take tasks off their plate, you ask, 'How can I help?' They might reveal they need help prioritizing rather than reducing their workload.

A friend is contemplating a career change but is unsure of where to start. By asking, 'What do you want from me?' you might discover they're not looking for answers but rather someone to listen as they talk through their options.

Reflect on Daily Decisions: At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on the major decisions you made. Ask yourself, 'If I’m saying yes to this, what am I saying no to?' This practice will help you become more aware of your priorities and the trade-offs you’re making.

Use it in Conversations: When discussing plans or decisions with friends, family, or colleagues, pose the question to them as well. It can open up a deeper dialogue about priorities and help everyone involved think more strategically about their choices.

Set Priorities with the Question in Mind: Before committing to new tasks or projects, use this question as a filter. It will help you assess whether the new commitment aligns with your priorities or if it would mean sacrificing something more important.

Journal About Your Discoveries: Keep a journal where you note down instances when you applied this question and what you learned from it. Over time, you’ll see patterns in your decision-making process that can guide you to make better choices.

Imagine you're offered a new project at work that would require overtime. Asking yourself, 'If I’m saying yes to this project, what am I saying no to?' might reveal you’d have to sacrifice family time or personal hobbies. This reflection helps you weigh the importance of the project against your personal values.

Consider you're planning to volunteer for an event on the weekend. By asking, 'If I’m saying yes to volunteering this weekend, what am I saying no to?' you might realize you'd have to give up your only chance to rest or pursue a personal project. This could lead you to reconsider how you allocate your time to align with your priorities.